Magi's Journal--Entry 15

Surrender

My companions were traveling with lighter hearts. They were relieved that I am well and were delighted that the sky cleared and the star was easily seen.

I, however, was still in a dark mood. I am an independent man, an educated man with a mind of my own! There is only so much I am willing to give up for any spirit. Still, my conversation with Malchiah continued to run through my head.

It was almost morning and I felt spent. My head throbbed as if it would explode and my joints felt like they were on fire. My body trembled like a reed in the wind. Beads of sweat dotted my forehead and I was overwhelmed by defeat.

“Oh God,” I whispered, as I dismounted. “You refuse to let go of me, like a jackal, chasing down its prey. You track me and cause me to run until I can run no more. I am trapped, God. What do you intend to do with me, now?”

I was overtaken by a sickening dizzinessiness and everything went black. My hand slid from the saddle, and I slowly slid to the ground.

“I surrender,” I whispered, then slept.

* * * * *

Scripture Meditation:
Psalms 8:1, 3-4.