The Longest Day

The Summer Solstice is a special time to me. For a few short hours before sunset, it seems as if there is magic in the air.

I first noticed this phenomenon at the beginning of the decade. I used to take a pet hedgehog out for evening walks in the flower bed under a huge shade tree. Watching the little creature dig for slugs and bugs was relaxing during a stressful time.

Under our large shade tree the sun's rays peeked between the leaves and lit the yard in a way that it did only once a year. Blades of warm grass stuck to my bare feet and I reveled in the moment. Then darkness fell and the magic was all but gone.

Ever since, I have make a point to be outside during sunset on the Summer Solstice. As long as it was sunny, I was not disappointed.

Last summer I spent the Solstice at Natchez Trace State Park, in TN. It was a lovely day, probably the last really worry-free day I can remember. That was the last full day of my summer vacation. Just a few days later I learned that, due to low student enrollment, my contract to teach would not be renewed.

First, came the feeling of failure as rejection after rejection piled up. Even public schools had a hiring freeze. Next, there was the trauma of unemployment. Then, I became underemployed, underpaid, and eventually all our hours were cut! My ex-husband was diagnosed with cancer and died. A dear friend came out of remission. A little over a week ago, he died also.

I didn't get to tell that friend that I got the new job we had been praying about. Last Solstice I had no idea what the future held for me. Now I am looking forward to a new job and a new school adventure. Maybe things are changing for me. For almost 10 years now I have felt that 2010 would be an amazing year for me. That is funny, since 2009 tested my faith.

This year I sat in my lawn chair under my shade tree, watched the sunset, and thought about all that had happened. I considered what the future might hold and remembered the verse in the Gospel of John: Let not your heart be troubled. Neither let it be afraid. Soon, I was sitting in the dark and the fireflies were dancing around me. The Summer Solstice magic was gone.

Hope remained.

I love the Summer Solstice. Please share your Solstice memories.