CHRISTMAS, A MOTHER'S PERSPECTIVE

As a child I saw Christmas as magic, visions of sugarplums--or candy canes--and celebrations. Back in those days, school parties were common. We exchanged gifts, decorated trees, and some years Santa visited the classroom. It was a glorious time.

I also belonged to various clubs.  In Girl Scouts we made Christmas gifts, went caroling, and had parties. In some clubs we went caroling in nursing homes, had hot chocolate, and more parties.

Then there was pageant at church. There was the beauty of the white lights and the nativity scene, dressing like an angel and singing "Glory to God in the highest."

  As I enter my teens and twenties. Christmas seemed to be about nostalgia, feeling a little lonely and wishing I could be a child again, reliving the magic. Christmas seemed stressful. Commitments were complicated.

Then I became a mother. My child was 3 months old on his first Christmas. I held him in my arms and wondered what his future held. What did God have planned for my child? I held my son and thought about all those Christmas carols, silent night, mother and child. The feelings and emotions of Christmas were more real than I had ever before imagined.

Christmas was no longer about parties, or pageants, or dolls in mangers. It is about flesh and blood, God stepping down in the form of a human child.

I think about that first Christmas  with my son, that Christmas when i really began to understand, every time I hear this song Mary, Did You Know:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ifCWN5pJGIE

GHOSTS OF CHRISTMAS PAST

I had some errands to run last Saturday and scheduled them after the local Christmas parade.  I remembered the old days, when going to a Christmas parade was a real event. I loved seeing the streets decorated and children were so excited to see Santa.

This year was different. The decorations along the street were minimal, but even stores and shops didn't appear interested in decorating for the holiday. In fact, the only decorations I saw on Navy Road were in front of a florist shop, the YMCA, and the string of lights around the outside of a tavern.

When I was little, I remember the excitement of walking into a restaurant or store at Christmas and seeing a beautifully decorated tree or holiday display. It makes me sad that future grandchildren will have a lot less to be excited about.

Do I think there is a war on Christmas or that the holiday will someday cease? Of course it won't. There is always a war on all that is spiritual and holy, but those who believe will still celebrate, perhaps in a more private, more meaningful manner.

We can learn lessons from the way the Jews celebrate Hanukkah among family and friends.

Others will still shop and exchange gifts.

AN UNEXPECTED GIFT

An Unexpected Gift is the final book in The Friends of Scrapbook, Etc trilogy. In this book I break a few of the rules when it comes to inspirational romance. I think readers will enjoy the difference.

Kimberly is a college student and works part-time at the craft shop, Scrapbook, Etc. The story covers the holidays from Thanksgiving to Christmas. Here's a little teaser:


Kimberly knows things will get rough when she sees the blue sign on the pregnancy test. She and Jack had been careful—most of the time. When he learns the news, Jack becomes distant and she might be forced to face parenthood alone. 

When Grams offers her a place to stay, Kimberly soon becomes more concerned about the old woman's eccentricities than her own studies. Grams collects stray dogs, talks about seeing an angel, and might be losing her senses. Kimberly doesn't realize a quirky old woman can teach her about love and parenthood. 


http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=toni+lamparter+mabry&rh=n%3A283155%2Ck%3Atoni+lamparter+mabry

DECEMBER 26, 2013

Christmas has just past and now that I'm alone, I'm making some observations.

There are lots more Christmas movies and specials than when I was a child.  I don't know if that is necessarily a good thing. I've noticed that most of these movies are rather sappy love stories. The usually have some sugary sweet moral about how the message of Christmas is all about love, family, or giving.  Those are all good things, but Christmas is about a birthday.

Christmas music is played more these days.  There are some stations that start playing it on Nov. 1. I love Christmas music as much as the next person, but "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer" isn't what I'd really call music. In fact, many of the songs makes me want to grit my teeth. I miss the old carols that had depth and meaning.

When Christ is left out of Christmas a void remains. People try to fill is with sappy stories and cutesy songs. Children are taught traditions that have no connection to history.  Depth and feeling come from the celebration of the birth of the Savior.

KARMA, REALLY?

In America we like to believe that Karma (sort of) view that we get what we deserve. We have been taught to believe that if we do good, good will come to us. Life doesn't work that way. Bad things happen to good people.  Life just isn't fair.

Like a couple of weeks ago...

While I was doing something nice for someone else, something bad happened to me. If I had been at home I could have prevented the bad thing from happening.  I was upset for awhile, but that's the way life is.

As it turned out, I needed help from someone else to fix my problem. Maybe that's the way it works--we need each other.

I saw something interesting last night. I'm a part of  a group that put together a Christmas party for kids who really need a boost. We see them on a regular basis and really wanted to do something special over the holiday. The problem was, we didn't have the resources to do what we wanted, what the kids surely deserved.

Then God brought someone to one of the planners.  She told this mystery Santa about the kids and the Christmas party. This mystery person said that Jesus had blessed him and because of that, he wanted the children to be blessed, too.

When those 10 teens opened their stockings, they got the shock of their lives and I got to witness their surprised faces and share their hugs!  As I think about it, if we had pulled our resources and come up with the money, it would have been one thing. The Secret Santa made the night all the more special.

In life we don't always get what we deserve. Doing good things to get good things in return doesn't work--at least it doesn't for me. Doing good things because it is the right thing to do, doing good things out of love, that's another story.

DEALING WITH GRINCHES

I was a child the first time the classic How The Grinch Stole Christmas appeared on American TV. We all know the Dr. Seuss tale about the green Grinch who couldn't stand it when the Whos celebrate Christmas. He wished to destroy the entire holiday; trees, songs, gift giving, and the feast. The idea of someone trying to destroy a holiday that extolls the virtues of peace, love, and giving seemed completely ludicrous to the child I was.

--But perhaps the forward thinking Dr. Seuss was secretly a friend of a time traveling Doctor. --Or maybe he simply realized where the tides of political correctness (though that was not what it was called) would lead. He realized that an innocent holiday, a way of life, was under attack.

American Atheists was the movement catching the media's attention then, just as Freedom From Religion does today. Like the unsuspecting Whos of the Dr. Seuss story, the Christians slept while atheist groups attempted to restrict their cultural celebrations and rewrite their history.

Most American Christians trusted that capitalism would make sure that Christmas would always exist. As long as it had commercial value, Christmas would be encouraged. The unexpected twist to this is the inclusion movement. Christmas is now a part of a series of winter holidays. The Christmas tree is now a holiday tree. Christmas shopping is called holiday shopping. Carols--what a joke. Last week a public school was in legal hot water over the singing of Silent Night. Just as the Grinch removed the giant Christmas tree from the center of Whoville, The Freedom From Religion (and similar haters) snatch the nativity scenes from town squares.

Seuss' story has a happy ending when the Grinch repents from his hateful ways. He sees that the Whos don't need the outward symbols. What they have is deep within each of them.

Yes, we are under attack. There are angry people who want to strip from Christians all signs of their cultural heritage. We mustn't sleep as the Grinch steals Christmas from us. At the same time, we must remember that what we have is far more than plaster statues and wooden crosses. It is something that is real and dwelles within us.

That, no one can steal.

Joy To The World/Broken

Living life is often a stressful task. The holidays seem to accentuate our emotions, whether good or bad. This week, emotions have run very, very high. Part of it is economic. Part of it is about cultural differences among a religious community. I have prayed about this situation, cried about it, and feel no peace.

I recall that haunting Johnny Cash song, Broken. The song was one of Cash's last recordings. His voice, tired and gritty, accentuates the lyrics. He truly seems broken. --And I that is the way I felt today--broken before the Lord. He knows my situation.

As I walked into church this morning I was beaten by the world. I was looking for a moment of peace, a bit of sanctuary. The service had all ready begun. As I entered the church, I heard the melodious chords, Joy To The World. The loft was bathed in twinkling white lights and poinsettias blanketed the front stage. For a brief moment I wasn't broken; I was truly joyful.

The holidays are like that.

Nothing about my situation is different. My problems are still there. Monday I will go to work and my stomach will be tied up in knots--but for a brief moment there was joy.

Sometimes a moment is all you get.

SAME CORNY MOVIES

What is it about Christmas that makes people want to see the same movies that they have seen year after year? Do they think that Kris Kringle is going to lose his competency hearing, that Scrooge will refuse to change his ways, or that Clarance won't get his wings? No, we all know how these movies will end. We have seen them since we were children. In fact, many of us own copies of our favorite DVDs, stored away with the ornaments, waiting for yearly viewing.

I think it is about our efforts to return to a time that seems so much more innocent. Christmas is about the birth of a Savior and a time for reclamation. There are few time in the year more positive, more joyful than the Christmas celebration.

That is why I think people always return to those corny movies about new beginnings, second chances, and acts of kindness.

Yes, I know what the Ghost of Christmas Present will say before he says it, but I will watch the movie again this year. When I find White Christmas I will auto-tune it onto my TV. I will quote Luke 2 along with Linus, and sing "You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch." The movies and cartoons are life affirming. Christmas is life affirming.

Christmas Gifts

Okay. We always preach that Christmas isn't about the gifts. I get that--I think.

I am unemployed this year. I have always had a job. Sometimes I went without working when my son was young, but as soon as he was old enough for school I took part-time jobs. I like having my own money and I like buying for others. That's what made this Christmas hard. I couldn't buy gifts like I wanted. I just didn't have the money. Even buying little token gifts seemed impractical. I decided to dust off a store credit card and buy some gift certificates. That way family could use the cards the way they wanted. The certificates were considerably less that I would have wanted, but it was something. I could save some of my dignity. I put the gift cards in a white envelope safely in a drawer with a couple of presents for my son and dogie treats for our two pets, my Christmas cards and bows. I knew, however tempted I was, I could shop no more, not unless I found a dream job.

Late Christmas Eve I finished my baking, cleaned the kitchen, wrapped a couple of gift, bagged the dogie treats and put them under the Christmas tree. Then I went back upstairs to my room to take the gift cards and put them in envelopes to give to family at a gathering the next day.

I searched through the drawer, horrified! The white envelope was gone! How could it be? I thought I had been so careful.

I mentally went though the steps I had taken, tried to recall each time I had opened that drawer. Could the envelope have fallen from the drawer when I took out my Christmas cards? What if that envelope got mixed with the envelopes I had thrown away after addressing my cards? What if was stuck to some ribbon when I wrapped gifts and was thrown away? Every scenario ended with the gift cards being thrown away.

I prayed a frantic prayer that I would find the cards and instantly the thought came to mind that Christmas wasn't supposed to be about gifts anyway. I knew this, but the gifts weren't for me. Then I thought about the people who had miserable Christmases because they were worried that they couldn't buy gifts for others.

That's ego. I thought.

This last part of this year had been so bad for me that I was surprised that I had any ego at all. I lost a job that I loved and had been turned for other jobs countless times. Yes, having a gift in hand, however small, was probably an ego thing for me.

I kept praying and looking for the cards for 3 exhausting hours. Christmas is about Jesus, I thought as I listened to carols on the TV and dumped the contents of yet another drawer onto my bed.

At 2:30 I decided that I needed some rest. Maybe I would remember something when I awoke the next morning.

At 6:00 a.m. I awoke and began to search the garbage cans to see if I could find my lost presents. I asked God to help me understand what He might be trying to teach me through all of this. I also told Him how vulnerable I felt, being without a job, like I was useless and unable to support myself. I fought back terrible, unproductive feelings.

Again and again I reminded myself that the lost cards could not keep me from celebrating Christmas and I began to make a casserole for my son and his father--my ex-husband. We almost always celebrate Christmas together since that means we both get to spend the day with Adam.

Even though I tried to hide my disappointment, they were both aware that I was upset. Adam was sure his present would cheer me up and insisted we open gifts.

Then a got a phone call from a cousin who wanted to wish me a Merry Christmas. She was about to go visit her daughters. I told her about going to visit my family empty handed and she said that she was about to do the same. Her hours at work had been cut and there was no Christmas bonus. She feared that she may not have a job at all.

"My daughters will just have to love me for who I am and we will all have to be happy with each other's company this year," she said. There was wisdom in her words.

"Yes, I know what you mean." I was beginning to feel a little better.

My son finally could stand it no longer. "Let's open gifts!"

I said good-bye to my cousin and Adam and I headed downstairs. That was when I saw the gift bag with dogie treats under the tree. Why I walked to the bag, I don't know for sure. I looked inside the bag and saw it, a white envelope, barely sticking above the chew sticks.

I fell backward, onto the couch and began to wipe the tears from my eyes. "You found it," Adam his dad said at the same time. I nodded, still unable to speak.

It is easy to see how selfishness can ruin the spirit of Christmas. I never stopped to think how giving gifts or becoming upset about not finding the right gift could be just as destructive.

Reminiscing over past Christmases we remembered activities with family or friends. We remember charitable acts we perform. We gather for special Christmas Eve services or gather with popcorn to watch It's A Wonderful Life or A Christmas Carol. We really don't remember who did or who didn't buy us a gift--and if we do, we need to be reminded why we celebrate Christmas. It isn't about spending money to help our economy--or our ego--it is about the birth of the Christ child. It's about the world getting an advocate--a Savior.

Merry Christmas

I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and have a real Christmas story to tell. I will save it for later since dinner guests are waiting.

I hope you enjoyed The Magi's Journal and that some of you might copy the entries and keep them in a folder with your decorations and pull them out next year to use during you devotional time. They were written to help inspire you during the Advent season.

Have a great afternoon!