WORRY

I hate surprises.

I especially hate surprises that involve time, work, and expense.

I talked with my pharmacists about whether my prescriptions would last until I until I was on my new  work insurance. If you don't live in the U.S. you may not understand what a big deal that is. He assured me that I had a 3 month supply of prescriptions.

Anyway, last weekend I called to have my prescription filled and found that, though I had refills, the prescription itself, had expired. I only had a few days of two very important medications. I didn't have a doctor or the money to pay the out-of-pocket expense and prescriptions.

How did I set up a doctor's visit during my work hours? There were layers upon layers of complications.

I told myself that none of this was a surprise to God. I prayed for him to work it out. I fully intended to leave all the worry behind and trust the details to Him.

But Sunday night I couldn't go to sleep. I kept trying to work out the details in my mind. I would get up and, at 7:00 call the Church Health Center (a clinic where I could see a doctor on a sliding fee). Hopefully they would agree to take me as a patient. I would see what appointments were available and talk to my boss about getting off work for the visit.

Sleep evaded me. I really trusted God, but I couldn't stop the worry.

In the end, all the pieces fell together. I was able to see the doctor and she gave me a four months supply of prescriptions--long enough for me to get on my new insurance program.

Why did I worry? I don't really know. I knew things would work out. Maybe I feared the way they would work out.

Like I said, I hate surprises.

TWO DOGS

I had a tree break apart a few days ago.  I didn't have the money to have it removed.  Since the economy crashed and people, especially people my age, have been forced to take jobs that don't fit their skill or their former pay scale, I have lived paycheck to paycheck. I no longer have a nest egg for a rainy day. 

I looked at that tree and my first thought was, "Well God, how are you going to take care of this one?"  I knew the tree was no surprise to God. I knew I didn't know how to take care of it.

I found an old friend who takes down trees and a deal was made.  When the tree men arrive, I put my two dogs in the house. One dog, Taz, is a nervous girl. She was abused as a pup. When we adopted her, she was about to be put down because she was so filled with fear and anxiety that no one wanted her.

The second dog, Dixie Belle, is a very calm old girl.  She was also neglected and eventually abandoned. I was always there to climb a fence and feed or water her. She ended up on my porch when she was left behind.

Taz knew the instant the strangers trespassed in her back yard. She barked, nonstop, as they felled two trees. She barked as the trees were removed.

Dixie Bell was laid back. She watched what was happening, looked at me, then went to the carpet to rest. She had every bit of confidence I had it all under control. 

As life goes on, I hope God will see me acting more like Dixie Belle and less like Taz. I may not know how things will end, but know to trust the One who has control.