THY WILL BE DONE

It's a hard thing to say.

It is hard to know when you are really at that point when you are able to say, "Thy will be done." People who want to sound holy say it all the time, but if you really think about what it means--doing God's will no matter what it costs you--your home, your family, your life--Well then, you might pause before you say it.

Over ten years ago I had cancer and was insurance poor, as they say. I had prayed, many times for a miracle or recovery or something. Long story short, the doctor canceled a life-saving procedure within hours of the time of the operation. That phone call, canceling the surgery seemed to seal my fate. What was going to happen to me? I thought I had exhausted every avenue for recovery. I dropped to my knees, leaned on the telephone table, wept and prayed.

"Without this surgery I will surely die," I prayed. "But If this is how it must be, please let me die with grace and dignity. Please let me act in a Christian manner."

I was broken to the point I could fight no more. I sobbed, "Thy will be done."

I meant it.

I can't say how long I prayed, but I was still on my knees at the table when the phone rang again. It was my mother. Her dear friend, who was a doctor, wanted to see me at his office the next day--and he didn't mind accepting my insurance. Dr. Bland saved my life.

This happened right after I prayed, "Thy will be done."

I have gone though some rough times these past 3 years; medical, financial, deaths. Thank God, my health problems are greatly improved. However, other problems linger, problems I have prayed and prayed about.

Lately I wondered if I was really willing to pray, Thy will be done.

Do I really want God's will? That's a hard one. If it means blessings, the answer it yes! What if it means losing everything? I have thought long and hard about this one. I want to obey God, but . . .

I remember being on my knees by that telephone thinking I might die. Death wasn't what I wanted, but I would be submissive to God's will.

Perhaps I need to remember all of that as I face my situation today, accept these hardships with grace and believe that God is in control. Maybe we don't have to enjoy God's will. Jesus prayed about this so much that he sweat drops of blood. Perhaps we need only accept God's will with grace.

That, I believe I can do.